aalyosha: (pic#5512220)
Well, I am sick. Which probably contributed to my bad mood yesterday. I don't know, it sucks how this stuff all falls on you at once. But I've spewed my emotional stuff, so I won't whine about it now.

I've been looking into ways to get more ballet in during the week, and I think I'll do open classes at Portland Ballet on Sundays. They have a good student rate. I'll have to give up eating out at all during the week to afford it, but I'll never be able to start pointe if I only go once a week. I know I can't be a pro or anything, but I do love to dance and getting pointe shoes would make me so happy. I just have to build those muscles up! I was going to start this Sunday, but...I guess I'll see how I feel.
aalyosha: (pic#5512225)
School is going so well, I feel so genuinely happy lately. Though I really wish I could take German, everyone I get along with is taking it and they're all friendly with me, but they have their own group too and I just want to be a part of it. I want to be translating Faust and reading Kafka in the original too. Sometimes I wonder if I should have majored in languages, there are too many things I love, it's hard focusing on just one. Though altogether, history is my largest love. I wonder if being a translator might not have been more useful.

I hate this line of thought of trying to pick the most useful thing though. I want to do something I enjoy. If I wind up never advancing beyond what I have now, then let that be. I'm happy as I am. Getting more just leads to wanting more. I'm well fed and happy. That's all that you really need in life. I want to be a professor in a ratty old coat and antiquated briefcase, in an office full of books. Researching things I love...

Knowledge is happiness.
aalyosha: (pic#5512226)
Today was a bit useless. Noisy neighbors and slight insomnia make for little sleep, so the movie I was going to go see with my aunt was canceled. I'm back in Carver for the weekend and I'd really prefer not to be, but she gets lonely, so I feel obligated.

I got a few things at the mall. A new jacket, shoes, and pajamas. I love the jacket, it's red with toggles, and I'll probably take a picture of it soon.

School work...is not happening today. I have a lot to read, and I'm trying now, but I'm still so sleepy and what can be done. Attempting to read with puppy shows on TV is likely not the wisest move.

If I could simply hug and make my darling feel better, I would welcome all this work.
aalyosha: (Default)
So, I have this journal thing now. I've had journals in the past, but hopefully I'll keep up with this one. If the two people reading this care, they can poke me if I don't update.

The first week of classes has gone really well, probably my best so far. I'm getting more confident in my research abilities, and I adore the ability to really choose my topics. I'm hoping to further my research into German national identity this term and use it as my main topic for my thesis. I'm also very happy that I've been able to narrow down what my thesis might be about. I'll be focusing primarily on the 19th and 20th centuries, naturally. Hopefully I can stick the other topics that I love in there too, like theological studies and music. Music will be the easiest, of course. I mean, it is Germany.

Also, social anxiety issues have been so much better. I feel more confident lately, though I still don't speak up in class, I don't cry when I go to order food either.

I need to focus more, and plan out a homework schedule. Also, work on my German more. Lack of it is definitely keeping me back.